DEV:Escape From Lonesome Valley

Eccl. 4:9-12

While the title of this message might sound much like a dramatic

title for a cheap grade B Western, this is far from my intent, I'd like

to share something with you that is ours in Christ, it is simple and

undramatic.

Loneliness is something we all have to deal with at times, wether in

the midst of a great crowd, with the gifts of life surrounding us, or

in the middle of a lonely place yearning for that gift so freely given

of people in a crowded room (but yet so unwisely spent).

There is often a great similarity between the Socialite in the

middle of the glitz and glamour of a grand social life, constantly

being praised for those great accomplishments, and the single mother,

placed in such a position because of divorce or the death of a spouse,

who can barely make it through the turmoil of everyday life and in the

public eye would accomplish little to be lauded and praised. All of

these are possibly on the same strife-ridden road of life, a life of

loneliness. Perhaps knowing all the trappings the world may have to

offer but not knowing from where that next "emotional" meal may come.

That which we all desire so fervently but we gain so little of. We are

experiencing emotional starvation, because the junkfood this world has

to offer may fill, but never satisfy.

Sociologists call this generation in which we live today the lonely

generation or the single crowd. Our population may have reached

enormous proportions, but little of the common bond in humanity comes

to us in our lives. Loneliness pervades everything we do or say, it

grips our thoughts, our words, our whole being. We try to replace this

empty emotion with the feeling of the "Christmas Morning" syndrome of

buying our "toys" and feeling the joy and excitement that we felt as

children. But as the new wears off, we're once again faced with

loneliness.

Perhaps we don't find ourselves in the "Christmas Morning" syndrome

with things but relationships. Perhaps we try to keep our lives in the

honeymoon stage of always feeling the excitement of that new

relationship. But, as relationships falter in the real world, as we

also fail others, we can become disenchanted and once again find

ourselves in lonesome valley. This may, in many people's lives, be the

single most driving force that will carry them further and further into

that canyon of darkness and, ultimately, the stench of emotional death.

I want to challenge you to come to recognize that we need not be

lonely in a crowd. We need not suffer the fate of lonesome valley, but

can once again be in a relationship that will not fail, but that will

grow and flourish as no relationship has ever known in your life. The

"Indians" have surrounded us, haven't they? The "arrows" even now that

are entering your life may come in many forms, but the very thing we

seek refuge in seems to "defect" to the enemy. It becomes part of that

force that ever onward drives us to seclusion.

"Two are better than one . . ." as our passage has stated. Even in

the Creation account there came a time that God acknowledged to man

that it was not a good thing for him to be alone. It was not proper

that he should carry out the work alone that was given to him to do,

but that he should have a helpmeet.

Perhaps you feel now in your life that you're ready to strike the

emotional wall. That you're on the brink of a heart-rending pinnacle

from which you may soon plunge and never recover, all attributable to

that gnawing, aching, emptiness inside on which we've tagged the name

loneliness.

There is one who will pull us from that pinnacle of being alone, who

will rescue our hearts and emotions from spiritual death. This one who

loves us greatest, enough that He should die for us. The One we call

the Son of God, Jesus Christ.

Many a Christian has given up in the battle of Spiritual Warfare,

with family and friends all around, because of the loneliness factor.

Satan has crept in with his lies, deceits, and accusations, to leave us

alone and lonely. Feeling most of all, alienated from God. We so easily

remove our armor and drop our weapons because of the hurt and pain of

the moment, and this is where Satan begins his conquest of us. For,

surely, following defeat comes discouragement to ever pick up our

weapons again and run to the battle.

There is a great difference in being lonesome and having solitude.

One can be in a crowd and be lonesome, and yet have solitude and never

feel alone. And this is really the key. The FEELING of being alone is

because of the separation from the one who can give us that kind of

companionship even in the midst of solitude. We fail so often to

develop the relationship necessary to come to know, truly know in our

hearts, this one who "will never leave you nor forsake you".

In one year, the average American today probably meets as many

people as the average person did in a lifetime 100 years ago. And yet

he's far lonelier. The presence of others doesn't necessarily guarantee

the escape from lonesome valley. According to a Los Angeles

psychiatrist and author, Dr. Leonard Zunin, mankind's biggest problem

is simply loneliness.

The first factor that we must deal with in dealing with the Valley

of Lonesomeness is that of self pity. The actress, Joan Blondell, once

had a method of dealing with loneliness and its cousin, self pity. She

used a common kitchen timer to pull herself out of the slumps. She

would say "I'd set the timer for 6 1/2 minutes to be lonely, and 22

minutes to be sorry for myself. And then when the bell rings, I take a

shower, or a walk, or a swim, or I cook something, but ultimately think

about something else." That may have worked very well for her, but I

must have something more substantial.

Feelings of persecution, of being singled out by God for some great

inquisition, or simply feeling that a fellow brother or sister hasn't

really treated us much like "family", can all lead to that self

effacing, self destructive force that spirals us further into

loneliness that is known as self-pity.

Self sufficiency can bring about loneliness. Not that we feel all

alone, but rather that we are alone and love it. We don't need anyone

else. We don't need God, or others, or family, or anyone else. We just

don't see the need. Christianity becomes something for weaker people.

But, this kind of personal "strength" doesn't last forever. Inevitably

in our lives comes a time that we are faced with our own frailty, our

own weakness in us that is inbred and born into our human natures. The

weakness of the flesh, as we may call it, and thus the weakness of the

spirit.

It doesn't become long that we not only alienate our fellow man from

us, but really alienate God. We become so self dependant that we become

selfish. Self pity may not be in our vocabulary, because in reality we

can have no one to blame but ourselves, but when life swings its best

at us, and we've found our houses built on sand, even though we "did it

ourselves" as "self-made men", we ultimately find ourselves in a most

pitiful position, the position of being truly alone.

Idleness can become another factor in bringing about loneliness. You

may say " but I'm one of the busiest people in the community. I'm

involved in all the civic organizations, which do a lot of good for the

community, and I have my business to take care of. I'm far from being

idle."

The idleness of which I speak, however, is not that idleness of the

sluggard. The ones who are afraid of work and life's requirements for

survival, for that has its own judgement. The idleness of which I speak

is the idleness of spiritual things. The neglect of those things that

are requirements for our spiritual survival, and our ultimately being

removed from the Valley of Lonesomeness.

How can we, as we call ourselves Christians, find ourselves in such

a position of not knowing our Saviour? "Ah, yes, but I do know Him. I

surrendered my life to Him and LET Him be my Saviour." We must get the

attitude out of our Christian walk of LETTING God do anything in our

lives. As our Creator and Redeemer, He has every right to expect of us

a full accounting. This is what Grace truly means, that in Him being

our Saviour and paying a debt that was owed by you and I, He deserves

the service that is required not to be a yoke of burden, but to enable

us to come to a closer relationship with Him.

If we never read His word, how can we know his general will for our

lives, and truly come to have the mind of Christ? If we never bow our

knees, and most importantly our prideful hearts in prayer, how can we

ever come to know His specific direction for our lives, and come close

to having the Spirit working manifestly in our lives. By leaving our

Bibles on the shelves, and our prayers in the closet, we have told God

"I can do it on my own, I'll come to you in an emergency, but

everything else I can do."

The ultimate end to all of that pride and "inner strength" is to

never really come to develop a healthy relationship with the One who

gave His all for you. Where does my loneliness come from? Where can I

go for companionship? I need a new car... No, I need a new job. Perhaps

I just need to run to Him.